


What do you mean it´s not indigestion?

by mountain_spiderling



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: 2020 has...sucked, Based on a prompt I got like in APRIL I´m so sorryyyy, Basically Peter can get sick because I say so, But he doesn´t dw, Fluff, Gen, He goes outside, How Do I Tag, Iron Dad, It´s a tiny bit crack-ish, I´M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG, Maybe this can make someone laugh idk, Parental Tony Stark, Peter is not supposed to go outside, Peter loves animals, Pls don´t follow his example on this if u can, Pokemon, Precious Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony and May´s co-parenting, Tony has accepted he is a father figure, Very silly but there´s some fluff, another quarantine fic, this is silly, we love that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:34:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28393959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mountain_spiderling/pseuds/mountain_spiderling
Summary: For the request: "I’ve been wanting to read a fic where Tony, Peter and other people found out that because of Peter’s former asthma and his spider bite, the covid is very dangerous for him, even maybe lethal, and then everyone (especially Tony) goes crazy trying to keep Peter safe from the virus and Peter gets a little frustrated of staying inside 24/7 and secretly goes outside and everyone loses their shit, please :D"
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	What do you mean it´s not indigestion?

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this fic way back in April when Asimplefan first requested it, but I had the hardest time thinking up ways to finish it. I´m so sorry it took so long. Honestly, I wasn´t even sure if it was still okay to post since a lot of stuff has happened since then, but I just want to say none of this is meant to be offensive, and even though I changed the prompt up a bit, I hope it´s along the lines of what you had in mind!

This sucked.

Like downright honest to God stuck-in-an-elevator-with-a-hybrid-alien-rat-thing-screeching-like-a-faulty-kazoo (long story. Way too long) type of sucked.

Peter had never been one to stay still for long periods of time. There was always a bouncing knee, bitten nails, fingers thrumming impatiently, just any form of movement that drove everyone within visible distance of his fidgeting absolutely bonkers.

He couldn't help it, burdened with the need to externalize the speed at which he processed everything around him, his mind leaping and somersaulting wildly from one thing to another much like he did as Spiderman.

Falling through the air and then leaping back up via web was fantastic, watching New York whizz past him as the sense of thrilling and all-encompassing freedom overtook his senses, all of it allowed him to burn some steam off, helping him stay focused, keenly listening for any sense of trouble, any sense of how he could help someone, a cat, a pigeon, a person, anyone.

The weight of being a superhero was somehow lightened by those moments of flight, though nothing could possibly make him fly higher than seeing the visible relief of someone he'd helped, the genuine smile of someone he'd gotten home safely after a late shift, the crushing hug of a mother after he'd found her missing kid.

(He remembered 6-year-old Sophie, who was strangely passionate about poison dart frogs. Peter had listened to her go on and on about them while keeping an eye out for the lady with _a bright red coat with a big daisy-shaped button on it because that's mom's favourite flower and she´s gonna teach me how to sew buttons on things soon-_

Mrs Carlson hadn't said much besides tear-stained thank you's after Sophie confirmed the lady was indeed her mom, but the bone crushing hug she'd given Peter after she'd held her daughter said more than words could tell.

He felt elated enough to fly even without webs, that day.)

He'd taken on being Spiderman as a responsibility, as something he simply had to do because he could, but he'd grown to fall (hah, get it) in love with what he did, to see the place he loved most through a completely new pair of eyes.

Sure, most of the time it wasn't easy or even all that great (he'd started falling out of bed dodging bullets his _dreams_ conjured up for pity's sake) but it was part of him now, a part he was sure he never wanted to give up. He never wanted to stop helping people.

And yet, now he'd gone ahead and done just that.

Spiderman would've been patrolling out there, trying to stop the (thankfully) odd bodega robbery, walking people home from a safe distance away, maybe even stepping in and trying to stop too many people gathering all together at once because "c'me on guys, social distancing's a thing now, rona isn't messing around-"

But no.

The very same thing that had brought him his powers was now the exact reason he couldn't use them.

Well, he still had the super hearing, the sticking to the ceiling and frightening the living daylights out of anyone when they looked up thing, the advanced healing, but all of that was good for absolutely _kapooting nada_ if he was locked up in May's apartment. And he was.

The spider bite had gifted him incredible capabilities, but alas, fighting a common cold was apparently not one of them.

He'd found out that particular piece of information six months ago, when he'd spent a not-so-lovely weekend puking his guts out in freaking Tony Stark's fancy bathroom while the man himself sat down next to Peter and rubbed his back gently, wincing in sympathy.

Definitely not his greatest moment.

And that was even before breathing went from difficult to flat out impossible and a panicked Tony and Bruce had to cart him off to the med bay, where they discovered that _apparently_ his history of asthma attacks mixed with his new somehow physically tough but also ultra-sensitive metabolism made a recipe for a humongous disaster.

Basically, a particular flu bug could make Peter develop severe pneumonia and possibly die in quick succession so.

there's that.

Eventually Dr Cho managed to come up with a substance that got it under control (or at least out of deadly territory), but it took him weeks to recover, and she informed them more time and investigation was needed in order to make a more effective cure.

Aunt May and Tony had been mother-henning him way too much to get sick after that, but when the whole "global pandemic everybody panic" thing had blown up, their reaction had pretty much been _Ah. Yes. Lock the hyperactive spider-teen up until going outside doesn't put him in even more imminent danger than the average 16 year old why don't you._

Honestly, he got it, the situation kept getting worse by the day and he didn´t want to add on to May or Tony´s already gigantic load.

May kept working in the hospital, and although it made Peter´s anxiety levels spike every day she went out, he understood. His need to help others had come from May just as much as it had come from Ben, and he knew his Aunt would never lie back if there was something she could do to make things better.

And Tony was, well, Tony.

If he wasn´t upstate with Pepper organizing relief efforts or contacting Bruce on medical developments, the man was either attending tea parties with his 5 year old daughter or calling Peter to remind him on no account was he to go out. He was so busy and exhausted he´d nearly fallen asleep at the last video call he´d had with Peter. 

And when _Tony Stark, helicopter-parent-aka-“I´m-just-resting-my-eyes”-when-he-was-snoring-5 seconds-ago extraordinaire_ actually admitted he came close to _falling asleep_ during a conversation with his pseudo son _, you knew things were bad._

As much as staying inside and doing nothing Spiderman-related sucked, Peter didn´t want to be the reason of any more worrying from either of them (that was the news´s job, recently).

He´d resigned himself to a quarantine filled with video calls, music, watching old sci-fi films, reading the entire Harry Potter saga again, trying to quell the ever-growing anxiety that the world was ending, and nothing else. It´d be more than enough.

But.

But well, there´s always a _but_ isn´t there?

No one can deny at least he tried.

It´s a Wednesday night. May´s on a shift and he´s home alone, halfway through reading _The prisoner of Azkaban_ and is just considering what Star Wars film he should watch later when he hears it. And yeah, one of May´s friends down the hall is blasting telenovelas and someone´s vacuum sounds like it´s trying to swallow a dog, but this sounds different-

Because unless he´s very much mistaken, someone outside is screaming.

_Crap._

He gets up quickly, straining his ears, but yep, that definitely sounds like a woman screaming. The hand not holding the book goes up to his scalp absentmindedly, his brain immediately going into overdrive trying to think of what to do.

Not that he has that many options, actually.

Option A: Call Mr Stark.

It seems like the most obvious, and yet Peter is hit with the image of a visibly bone-tired Tony stifling a yawn as he talked with him through his laptop a few days ago. It really seemed like he had a lot on his plate right now…

Option B: Call the police

It´d take way too long for Peter to call them, explain, and locate the woman´s exact whereabouts. Just because it sounded close didn´t mean it was, not with his super hearing.

But if he had Karen and his web shooters…?

He goes over a few more options in his head, but he´s acutely aware he´s wasting precious time hesitating and things could go badly if he doesn´t do something soon.

Mr Stark hadn´t been too keen on letting Peter keep the suit when Spiderman was vehemently banned from making an appearance until further notice, but Peter had insisted he´d miss Karen too much otherwise, so they´d made a compromise.

May´s got the suit hidden somewhere, just so Peter “ _wouldn´t be tempted looking at it all the time_.” She´s brilliant at hiding Christmas gifts, and even if she wasn´t he definitely doesn´t have the time to go look for it right now…the mask, however, he was allowed to keep, so he could talk to Karen like Tony promised. 

He´s running low on web formula, but he thinks he´s still got enough to web someone up if it´s needed.

Maybe there was a way he could swing there quickly _and_ protect his identity even without the suit…?

The screaming stops. Peter flinches and flips the book aside, jumping across the room to get the mask, mind made up.

If he´s careful, he can get there, help out and then return without anyone realizing he went out at all. He´s got this.

\---------------------------------------

He does _not_ have this.

The second he crawled out the window Karen shut off for some reason (aka Mr Stark knows him way too well, dang it) which like A) Rude and B) Okay, he probably should have seen this coming.

Then there was the fact he managed to swing undetected for about 5 minutes before he saw someone's flash go off in an alleyway he was going past and _ohh boy_.

He can only hope the pictures of Spidey wearing dark trousers, uneven socks and a shirt with an egg stain on it aren't horrendously unflattering.

Eh. It´s dark. He's crashed into enough light posts to keep from getting too embarrassed by now anyways.

The thing is, now he´s just confused.

His senses have had its faults, he can admit, but they´ve also saved his life more times than he can count, and when it comes to recognizing noises clearly if he focuses hard enough, they haven´t failed him once.

But it looks like they did this time.

He was positively sure the screaming was coming from this side of town, and in this alleyway in particular, but the screaming´s stopped and there´s no one here. Peter clambers down from the rooftops he´s watching by, looking out worryingly for any traces of blood or worse, but there are absolutely no signs of a struggle.

He listens hard, cutting out the honking of cars in traffic and the dozens of conversations in the apartment buildings around him, but it´s no use. There´s no retreating footsteps, no cries for help, just a strange shuffling noise coming up from behind him-

He spins around, shooting a web on instinct.

A rusty- coloured dog makes a distressed noise, backing up immediately at his harsh movement, but it doesn´t get very far.

Peter draws in a sharp breath when he sees his web trapped the poor creature´s leg to the ground.

“Frick _frick_ , I´m so sorry, I´m sorry just lemme-“

He tries to get nearer to the dog, meaning to detach it, but the poor thing just looks at him in fear and screams out in pain when his leg remains stuck even as he thrashes around.

_Screams_.

Peter balks in realization ( _the frick kind of dog sounds like someone screaming!?)_ but slows his movements and tries his best to look as harmless as possible.

“Hey, hey little guy” He calls out in what he hopes is a soothing voice “It´s okay, I promise, I´m just going to uh- free you from this stuff, I´m really sorry I shot it at you, I´ll just-”

He pats his pockets for the little vase of web dissolving formula he always carries around with him in the suit, only to realize he´s not actually _in_ the suit right now.

_Ah, crumbs._

He stares at the dog, wincing.

He _could_ wait two hours for the web to dissolve itself, but looking at how the poor animal is whining in pain, he genuinely doesn´t want to inflict more pain on him.

Why on earth would his Spidey sense even consider a dog a threat?

Especially this dog! He´s tiny and cute and okay, so he´s a bit dirty and odd-looking, but a dog´s a dog, and he´s gonna try to calm him down so the pup doesn´t accidentally chew his own leg off or something.

“Um, here, just let me come nearer, it´s okay, I won´t shoot anything at you anymore, okay?” he says, approaching him carefully (at least he thinks it´s a him, it´s kind of dark in here, but he has to say _something_ ).

Just then, his mask comes back online and lights up with an incoming call.

“-swear to God, if you´re out there right now when you´re literally benched for the remaining of this hellstorm Parker I-“

“Mr Stark!”

Ten minutes ago he might have taken off his mask just to avoid the berating that´s coming his way (except no, he can´t do that, _global pandemic going on Parker, get a grip-)_ when Tony inevitably forced a call through to him even without Karen responding, but he´s just relieved the dog has a way to be free faster now.

Mr Stark pauses at the relief in Peter´s voice, and his tone instantly shifts into urgency mode rather than anger. “What? What happened? Are you okay? Why are you even- you know what whatever, I´m coming over there-“

“No, no you don´t have to come I swear I just uh” _Don´t say it Parker, don´t make a pun,_ his mind screeches at him. “I´m kinda caught in a…” _don´t make a freaking pun_ “…sticky situation?” _DANG IT PARKER_.

He almost groans at himself but he can´t because he´s brilliant, even if Tony´s huff of relief/underlying anger/exasperation might imply otherwise.

“Kid…what did you do”

“Well I- okay so I know this is bad, and I´m actually really sorry for worrying you, but there was a woman screaming and-“

He tells Tony what happened as quickly as he can, keeping his voice low so as to not startle the dog even more. He´s got no collar, matted fur and a pair of huge eyes that are looking at Peter so mournfully he feels like hugging the poor thing.

“-and I tried releasing him, but I haven´t got any sharp things in hand and I haven´t got my web vial stuff so if you could just send like, a drone or something with it, I´m pretty sure I left some of it in the cabin´s garage last time-“

“You went out. Because of a dog howling.”

Peter raises his eyes to the sky in exasperation. “Yes! Okay, I know it sounds dumb! I messed up! In my defence, it really did sound like someone screaming-“

“Why didn´t you just call me? And why are you still there if the webs dissolve? ”

Peter´s head snaps up in indignation on the dog´s behalf.

“Because he´d be here for like, two hours and I´m the one who trapped him! I mean, I didn´t mean to, but it´s cold out here and I can´t just leave him!”

“Peter, do you have _any_ idea what being out there for too long could do to you-“

“I know! But that doesn´t matter right now-“

“The hell it does-“

“Tony!” Peter hears him abruptly stop talking at the mention of his first name. Peter hardly ever does that, but he really just wants to get this over with.

“I know I screwed up, I know you´re mad at me, but if you- I just- I could really use your help with this right now, okay?”

He kind of feels like an idiot, but the dog´s still trapped and Mr Stark´s his best chance at getting him free as soon as possible, so he can feel bad about it later.

The line goes quiet for a minute, Tony probably recollecting patience from the metaphorical Peter bin inside his chest (It´s an actual thing he´s mentioned before, and Peter got this gooey warm feeling when Tony mentioned the only other person to have a patience bin for them inside his chest was Morgan. Honestly, what even is his life.) 

A deep breath that rattles across the line, and then: “Okay, fine. Fine. We´re going to pretend I´m okay with this for five minutes and save the mutt, and then you´re going _right home_ and staying there until May and I aren´t in danger of going into cardiac arrest, you hear me? A drone. Fine. I´ll go to the garage and get a vial, but you better stay on the line and start thinking up a valid reason to tell May before she kills us both.”

Peter opens his mouth to respond, about to apologize again for the whole ordeal (why is it that when he doesn´t want to bother people he ends up making things _worse_?) thinking about telling him how he´ll probably be totally fine because he can have a shower when he gets home and May will probably insist he burns the clothes he has on just in case anyway, and the mask itself can filter toxins, and he´ll probably have to swear he won´t go out for the next decade or so, but just then the dog pulls on his leg again and makes that _terrifying_ scream-

There´s a crashing noise on the other side of the line, and Peter winces, hoping Tony didn´t just break the web dissolving dial (or like, his hip).

“Peter!? What in the _hell_ was that noise?”

Peter holds out a hand to try and calm the animal again, but this time the dog lashes his teeth at him, and Peter pulls his hand back in the nick of time. “Ouch, hey! Stop it! I told you, it´s the dog!” he tells Tony. “That´s why I was out here in the first place, please just send the thing already, he´s in pain-“

“I´ve got the vial and the drone ready to go, just hang in there. FRIDAY´ll sent it to your location so it´ll be there in a few minutes, but kid, there´s no way that…whatever it was came from a dog. Or if it did it needs an exorcist like, _now_. Are you really sure it´s a dog? I´ve never heard anything close to that sound before” Tony´s voice is less angry now, just worried, and Peter appreciates the fact he´s trying to lighten the mood.

“It looks like a dog, it just has indigestion or something-“

“Kid, that is _not_ what indigestion sounds like-“

“You´ve never had a dog before-“

“Only because Morgan asked for cats! And if Gerald´s first encounter with them didn´t provoke sounds _that_ horrifying-“ 

Peter can´t help laughing a bit as his mind supplies him with the memory of a trip to the cabin where the alpaca vs feline feud started.

The kittens Cheesecake, Cinderella and Chupacabra (all Morgan´s choices, Peter almost had a stroke when he first heard the names) were the newest addition to the Stark household and apparently Gerald accidentally (or maybe on purpose, the mind of an alpaca is a mysterious place, Peter thinks) stepped on Chupacabra´s tail at some point and from then on it was pretty much war between the two species.

Tony must hear Peter´s chortling, because he stops his tirade and sighs again, even if Peter´s pretty sure the man is smiling right now. It´s only a few minutes later when he hears a buzzing from above, and Peter grins at the little machine coming towards him. He´s kind of surprised it barely took any time for it to find him, but he shouldn´t expect anything less from Stark tech to be honest. The dog has finally calmed down enough to lay his head on his front paws, but his ears perk up at the noise, and he emits a low growl that sounds more like a whimper.

“Don´t worry little guy,” he tells him, reaching out to get the vial from inside the small package the drone is carrying. “You´ll be fine in a sec.”

“…Peter”

“Yeah?” Peter´s brows furrow. There´s something he can´t identify in Mr Stark´s voice. “What?”

“…I´m disowning you”

“ _What_!?” Peter knows he only ever uses that threat when he´s teasing (at least he hopes so), but that came out of _nowhere_.

He hears Tony take a deep breath and he thinks he hears a muttered _God help me with these children_ before he clears his throat and announces: “I think I know why it makes that noise now.”

“Oh wait what really? Why?”

“You´re staring at it now, right? Notice anything, oh I don´t know, decidedly _not dog-like_ about it?”

Holding the vial so a few drops fall around the dog´s trapped paw (thank goodness he didn´t make it acidic enough to hurt human skin, just dissolve the webs), Peter frowns at the question in confusion but does as he´s told. The pointy ears, a long snout, big sorrowful eyes, four legs and a bushy tail-

“I mean he´s got paws and a tail and he looks like a good boy so I don´t know what you´re trying to get to here-“

“That´s not a dog Pete”

He stares again as the…dog (???) starts tugging on its paw again as the solidified web finally breaks loose with the dissolvent. “…He´s not?”

“Peter. That´s a vixen”

He turns to look at the…animal…as he(she?) releases the trapped paw and screams at him one more time (if that´s a thank you, this creature will officially be about ten times more polite than every criminal he´s webbed up), before scarpering away into the night.

“…like the Pokémon?”

Tony´s face palm resonates across the line like a firecracker.

*********************************************

The sun has been up for several hours, filling the Parker´s living room with the cosy midday vibe Peter likes so much.

They sit in the couch, May holding a cup and blinking at their explanation like this might all be some late morning hallucination. Peter sits across from her wrapped in a blanket, his unbrushed curls leaping out all over the place after his shower and subsequent disinfection of anything he was wearing when he went outside last night.

Tony´s face is visible via Peter´s laptop in the chair next to May´s spot on the couch. He tried video calling while Peter was telling May what´d happened, so they decided he might as well join in the conversation.

Peter slumps in his chair and tries to hide away from the gaze of the two adults in the room. The situation is so ridiculous he feels both embarrassed beyond belief and glad they´re here to talk it out, no matter how mortifying.

May had kind of lost half her marbles when she heard Peter went outside, hugged him, told him off again, threatened to padlock all the windows with vibranium, hugged him once more, and then promptly burst out laughing at Peter´s little “female fox´s mating call” and “dog with indigestion” confusion.

Hey, anything´s friend shaped if you try hard enough.

After the berating, the “ _you are unbelievable, literally, both of you, why_ ” ´s and several cups of coffee (hot chocolate for Peter, since giving a hyper teen coffee even when he wasn’t locked inside was a certified bad idea™), they kind of just end up chatting together, since May and Tony haven´t talked to each other for a few weeks, and by some sheer struck of dumb luck, they´ve got cleared schedules for an hour.

(He thinks it has to do more with how they cancelled a bunch of things to make room for time spent with him. He feels guilty, but it´s tinged with a warmth he can´t describe.)

Peter hides away in the comfort of the couch and May´s shoulder, listening to them prattle on calmly, and mulls over what May and Tony had said.

_“I don´t think you´re grounded beyond the end of the pandemic, because we don´t even know when that´ll be, but Peter, we- we just want you safe sweetheart”_

_“We do. This is weird, and things are pretty crazy out there, and believe me, if it was me with the vulnerable immune system I´d have probably made up an illegitimate excuse and have gotten my ass handed to me by the virus already-“_

Peter startles, thinking about how awful it´d be if it was May or Tony or Pepper or Morgan who had gotten the spider bite´s downside. How nuts he would go trying to keep them safe too.

_He thinks about all the people out there, who have cancer or diabetes or some other terrible disease that puts them at even more risk if they have the virus. How many people there are who still need help._

But there are more ways to help than by having powers and cool outfits, and helping the world through them, Peter knows.

May´s resilience. Ben´s strong and steady kindness. And Tony…

Tony didn´t even need the suit to fight.

Maybe there was something he could do too, even without Spiderman.

_“So call me the next time those super ears of yours pick up on something, okay? We´re not the only ones cheering you on, Pete”_

“Kid?” Tony sees Peter´s expression next to May and calls out to him. “You okay?”

May turns to see him too, and in that moment he´s filled with such relief at having them with him, he thinks the warmth in his chest might implode.

“Yeah”, he manages. _I´ll try to make it okay._ “You better tell me if you find a real Pokémon next time though”

Tony snorts, May rolls her eyes with a smile, and Peter hopes beyond hope, after any and all catastrophes the world is faced with, this feeling remains.

**Author's Note:**

> People in New York might see foxes everyday, I don´t know, but I just thought it´d be hilarious if Peter went *surprised pikachu face* "you mean that´s nOT a good boy?"  
> He might not be silly enough to confuse a dog and a fox but I am, so :D (plus some breeds look?? so similar??? like I want to pet fluffy wild animals, fight me)  
> Hope you enjoyed, please let me know what you thought! Comments always make my day!!!  
> (On another note, I know this year has had terrible things, and I sincerely hope next year is much better for everyone. Hugs to all <3)


End file.
